Kevin McCallister - where is he now!

After a long needed break from the rigors of typing on a keyboard, I'm back at it. Alright, fine, I'm lazy, happy? Anyhow, it's Christmas morning and the stockings are no longer hung with care, I'm halfway through my Christmas candy and it's time to sit my ass down and watch some television.

Awaiting me was my good old friends the McCallisters. This time, poor old mother McCallister (played by the delicious Catherine O'Hara) has lost her child to New York City. I'm not afraid for Kevin, he's an incredibly industrious little boy. He finds his way into one of the most luxurious hotels in New York with an army of staff at his beck and call - at least for a little while. One question before I go on to why I'm really here this morning...why the hell does all of New York watch while two grown men chase around a seven year old.

Anyhow, this got me thinking, what would Kevin McCallister have become as an adult? First of all, there is no way he would lead an average life. By ten years old he has been abandoned and fought off two grown criminals - twice. This has to leave an indelible mark on a kid. The bright side is that he came out on top both times so if anything, his confidence has been bolstered.

Next, he has a certain moral flexibility that allows him to go the extra mile to defend himself. What's more, he seemed to enjoy the horror he put the burglars through. He could have made a few simple calls to the police, but he seems to want to do the work himself. This also speaks to his patriotism and his adrenaline junkiness. I submit that his love for his house will blossom throughout his teens into a love for his country.

He is quick thinking. There is a laundry list of examples here, but my favorite is in the second movie where the burglars have captured him and are taking him somewhere. While waiting for the crosswalk, he punches the butt of the girl in front of him and the woman blames the adults. She punches both Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci and he escapes.

Where does this lead me? Clearly Kevin McCallister has become a spy for the good old US of A. He is probably also an interrogator as he clearly has a way with people that allows them to open up to him (cite: bird lady in the park, old dude with the salt). Seeing as Kevin has a problem with authority, he has probably found himself in trouble with his superiors a time or two. He has also perhaps gone rogue once or twice to pursue someone after a disagreement with his bosses. It'd be an interesting movie, quite frankly.

Anyhow, that is what's on my mind this Christmas, Happy Holidays!

Coming up, my top 1o movies of the year, stay tuned.